Workout …

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops – a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight,built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, ” Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn’t argue with Big John, but he wasn’t happy about it. The next day the same thing happened – Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.

This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.

By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what’s more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, ” Big John doesn’t pay!”

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, ” And why not?”

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, ” Big John has a bus pass.”

Moral of the story: Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one.

 

Hearing Problem …

A man feared his wife wasn’t hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here’s what you do,” said the Doctor, “stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and s o on until you get a response.

“That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.” then in a normal tone he asks, ‘Honey, what’s for dinner?” No response. So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is
about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what’s for dinner?”
Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for dinner?” Again there is no
response. So he walks right up behind her.

“Honey, what’s for dinner?”

“James, for the FIFTH time I’ve
said, CHICKEN!”

Moral of the story: The problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be very much within us..!

 

Self-Assembly

Last night I was discussing Self-Assembly with a friend of mine, who is working on Magnetic Logic Processor these days. He was busy writing n optimizing a Genetic Algorithm for self wiring in MRAM’s using magnetoresistance.

Inspired by nature we often tend to model the building blocks of any sophisticated technology. One can compare a wheel with a new leg, machine with a more efficient hand, a proposed theory of Neural Nets trying to simulate a human brain. A robotic vision somewat is trying to cope up with recognising objects. What more is left to explore ? Scientists never say die, the passion, the search is on. One of my friend, a researcher is dealing with organisation of nanoparticles to find ways to assemble in specific shapes, sizes or orientations. Earlier it was dealt in terms relating to viruses and proteins, polymers, molecules, semiconductors n metals. These days researchers are looking out for efficient ways to make microscopic machines, and faster n efficient electronics(say MRAM) which is based on Self-Assembly in hopes of putting things together with natural ease.

Introducing nanotechnology to future chip manufacturing, organizing key issues n putting them in context effieciently explains how the technologies copulate. The idea itself excites me. The future is gonna be great. What do u think ???

 

The computer is personal again …

Today’s computer is shunted on three things.
1. Processors – manipulate computations
2. RAM – which retrieves info in quickly in realtime while pc is turned on.
3. Magnetic Disks – which store info when compu is shut

To facilitate the solution to problems created by volatile RAM chips, researchers are working on something they call MRAM (Magnetic Random Access Memory).

MRAM is based on magneto resistance n started back in 1950s but was overtaken by silicon chips due to performance, compactness n cost-effectiveness. Now researchers have found a way for single MRAM element to act as any of the four logic gates – AND, OR, NAND, NOR. Computer processors manipulate information by sending signals through logic gates. Future magnetic logic processors will contain many programmable magnetoresistive elements unlike today’s processor which has hardwired circuits that are dedicated to one type of logic operation. Today’s processor is optimised for different tasks – running a car brake system or running a personal computer by arranging these logic gates in certain order. Jus think the ease of getting it programmed on the fly can do so many wonders.

MRAM (Magnetic Random Access Memory) is fast compared to RAM chips, n is also non volatile, which means that it retains info even when computer is turned off. Researchers from Germany say that it is also possible to use MRAM for computational stuff. Since the memory is configurable, computing circuits formed from it can be adjusted in realtime to optimise processing for a particular application. This reprogrammability n non volatility feature is expected to increase the computational efficiency for all kinda processors relating to the work done on them. Your computer will learn bout what applications you use often, n the optimize for running of that particular process in real time ie. straight what HP states in its commercial. Your computer is personal again. MRAM is expected to hit the market next year. I ll try n get my hands on a copy when that happens.

 

Moral of the story …

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents
For a family story with a moral at the end of it, and
To return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example
First, ” My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One
Day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket
On the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump
In the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the
Eggs broke. “
The moral of the story is not to put all
Your eggs in one basket..
” Very good,” said the teacher.

Next, Mary said, ” We are farmers too. We had twenty
Eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got
Ten chicks.

The moral of this story is not to count
Your chickens before they’re hatched ..“

” Very good,” said the teacher again, very pleased with
The response so far.

Next it was Barney’s turn to tell his story: ” My dad
Told me this story about my Aunt Karen…. Aunt Karen
Was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got
Hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all
She had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a
Machete.”

” Go on,” said the teacher, intrigued.

” Aunt Karen drank the whiskey on the way down to
Prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle
Of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of
Them with the machine gun until she ran out of
Bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete
Till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten
With her bare hands.”

” Good heavens,” said the horrified teacher, ” What did
Your father say was the moral of that frightening
Story?”

The child said ” Stay away from Aunt Karen when she’s been
Drinking…”

 

Where to tap … Do You know it ..

Once it so happened that a big shipping company created a giant ship engine that failed. The ship’s owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure but how to fix the engine.

Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster.

He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work. He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom.

Two of the ship’s owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do. After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life.

He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed! A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars.

“What?!” the owners exclaimed. “He hardly did anything!”

So they wrote the old man a note saying, “Please send us an itemized bill.”

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer .. $ 2.00
Knowing where to ……… $ 9998.00

Moral of the story : Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.

 

How creative are you ???

A boy went for an interview.

Interviewer said, “I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!”

Interviewer said, ” I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!”

The candidate thought for a while and said, ” My choice is one really difficult question.”
” Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!” said the interviewer.

Here is your question: ” What comes first, Day or Night?”

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depended on the correctness of the answer to that one question. He thought for a while and said, ” It’s DAY sir!”

” How?” the interviewer asked.

” Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!”

Moral of the Story : Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity

 

The Great Mallu Story …

A “Mallu” female ( from the heart of Kerala)

Went for a job interview for the post of a SECRETARY.

When the manager saw the Mallu’s colourful attire and gold and well oiled uncombed jet black hair,

His mind was screaming ” NOT THIS WOMAN.” Nevertheless, he still had to entertain the Mallu.

So he told her ” If you could form a sentence using the words that I give you, then may be I will give you a chance.”

The words are GREEN, PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, WHITE, PURPLE and BLACK .”

The enthusiastic Mallu lady thought for a while and said : ” I hear the phone
GREEN GREEN GREEN, then I go and PINK up the phone, I say YELLOW……BLUE’s that?
WHITE did you say? Aiye, Wrong number ………..Don’t PURPLELY disturb people and don’t call BLACK, ok?

Thankyou.” The Manager fainted…….

 

Fifa fever 2006 …

Football at its best .. do these things happen in field .. witness them yourself… For more of these visit my Flickr page.

Photogenic isnt it … lol

 

Who’s the BOSS ???

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The Brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions.” The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.” The hands said, “We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.”

And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral of the story : You don’t need brains to be a Boss – any asshole will do.